The Biggest Reward HERE

I am thy shield and thy exceeding great reward. - Genesis 15:1

So we all know what our rewards are in heaven, but have you ever thought about your rewards here on earth, before you get to heaven? I know I have. A lot more often when I first started "doing some work for God", rather than just enjoying His "free gifts"; but even now, I still wonder every once a while, where is my reward HERE?


I wrote in an earlier post that God always provides for us financially. He has "reimbursed me" many times, so now I'm not concerned about money ever. But still, there are other things - I don't just want a money reward whenever it applies, I want something else too!

I have been in some difficult circumstances lately. Even though I have given up everything into God's hands, for His will and His glory, and in exchange I received the peace beyond this world, my heart still asks "is that it?" Somehow I'm still hoping for something else as a reward here and now.

Then I started thinking, if God says, "fine, tell me what you want here and now", what would I want? Immunity to pain? Sounds good. But coming in the same package of pride (since God often uses "a thorn in flesh" to keep us humble)? Hmm, no thanks. A quick path through suffering? Sounds appealing. But it is usually through our sufferings, we grow stronger in faith and become more like Jesus. Dropping the course would forfeit the credit - oh well, I don't really want to ask for that either. A comfortable life? Very well! How about let's start from letting me live in the city I'd like to live in? But do I really want a comfortable life where God kind of puts me aside (because being in His "business" guarantees hardship and persecution!), or do I want an exciting and at the same time challenging life, where daily I have to cling onto God? Do I want to ride the roller-coaster with Him, so that I can be a part of His glorious journey? I still ended up choosing the later, because I know that "comfortable life" will soon turn into a "boring life" with no real purpose.

So, what else could I want? Fruit from sharing the gospel? I bet everyone who's still reading at this point would want this. Wouldn't it be great if every time you share the gospel with someone, that person gets saved or grow more mature in the Lord?! But we are talking about our rewards "here and now", so let's not get the heavenly part involved in our "calculation". Say you get someone saved - what's your reward here and now? You are still going to love that person way more than he or she would love you, at least for the first couple of years. Talking about love, I always think of Susan - I've never seen someone who's so "crazy about love". She goes out of her way to love every single girl God has put into her path to encounter! I confess how badly I "loved" her back in the first few years - she got more complaints than anything else from me for probably the first 3 years we met. I'd like to think that I love her back quite a bit now, but I have also personally known girls that took advantage of her and then never came back. Honestly, I don't know any of us girls saved partly because of her love and her consistent prayers has come to a point to love her back more than how much she has loved us. Let's say luckily, one person got saved and grew in the Lord quite a bit in a few years, then do you really start reaping the fruit? Probably not. You are still going to pour more into him or her. This I think about Barbara or Marion, who have watered so much into my spiritual growth - it's not likely that one day I could water them back. Even though they have told me over and over again how encouraging I was to them, but still, I feel like they are still the mentors, as they always will be.

So far, I still haven't come up with what I want here and now. But that doesn't mean I'm going to quit doing everything and just keep thinking. So last night, when the opportunity came, I (and another sister in Christ) still went on and shared the gospel with someone. As I was telling him that once he came to know who God is and how good He is, he would just be amazed and bow down. At that point I suddenly remembered a verse I read in a devotional book a couple of days ago, "I am your exceeding great reward" - my earthly reward, my here and now reward, has always been here and now - that is God Himself!